Happiness Starts with Peace

On Happiness Happiness starts with peace. Peace is stillness. Peace is silent. Peace is knowing that all thoughts in your mind are just thoughts, not you. At a minimum, you acknowledge they are there. You let them pass under you like cars on the freeway as you stand on the bridge. With the clear understanding that you have zero control over them except for yourself. No matter their intensity or size. Happiness isn’t a one-time event. You’ve noticed that happiness exists in phases. I don’t think we ever arrive at happiness. We arrive at a moment. It is not forever, but it brings peace when we’re in that stage of happiness. Instead of asking when you will be happy (a common question when feeling overburdened), ask how to arrive at the moment of peace. You can find peace when you focus on gratitude for all you have and the people who care about you. We often equate happiness with having it all. I have come to learn that it’s being grateful for what you have and knowing that you have people who care. Peace isn’t forever. But it is calming and comfortable when you arrive. Being happy is rooted in peace. Happiness and peace are both created internally. They are never outside us. When we allow others to define our happiness, they will quickly steal or prevent us from having peace or happiness independently. This is how you create internal peace. You acknowledge all the feelings that come and pass. Thank them for coming. Then let them go with love. When you allow them to pass, you’ll have a moment of silence and peace. I describe it as stillness. Establishing peace is understanding that life makes sense and connects the dots looking backward. But life can only happen in the active state, going forward. Life is active. Like driving a car. Look forward and steer the wheel. To find understanding, look backward, like in the rearview mirror. Part of peace is understanding our emotions and processing them. Giving them the space they need. A person who can self-regulate will achieve happiness faster than those who do not allow their feelings the appropriate time and space. You often blame others for ruining your peace. In reality, they have nothing to do with it. They are dealing with their own problems and internal conflicts that have nothing to do with you. If you want to know if you are important in someone’s life, it’s simple. Do they talk to you in their free time? In their free blocks of time? You also think some of us reject the idea of happiness and peace. We believe we don’t deserve it, no matter how terrible that thought may be. Some of us think we must suffer in silence. It’s unhealthy. But I’ve also found some people love the tragedy for the spotlight and attention. To prevent others from disrupting your peace or stopping you from being happy, limit their access once they prove unworthy of your time, attention, or affection. It doesn’t matter what title they hold in your life. You deserve to be happy and have peace. If they truly love you, they’d honor your space, time, and distance. The ones who don’t care will do everything to destroy your inner peace. If someone abandons you or no longer has you in their life, it’s because they were using you. People using you don’t love you. This lesson repeats until you fully understand it. So how do you create daily happiness? It starts with gratitude. Understand that whatever happened in the past, you cannot change. You get to start fresh and make the best of what you can with your best capabilities. You can figure out happiness by considering what others have said about living their life. Fifteen years ago, I read an article about the regrets of the dying. I took every single one to heart. When you see that they wish they’d dared to live a life true to them, not what others expected, it gives you pause. Maybe you need to stop caring what others think. It doesn’t matter anyway. I often saw people not do something because they thought others would judge them, or they were told it wasn’t what they were expected to do. They robbed themselves of joy because it wasn’t acceptable by others. They were told it was too risky or didn’t conform to some societal belief. I can only surmise that the people who say those things are the ones who gave up on their dreams. They were beaten down so much, they gave up. A recent example hit me. About two years ago, someone stated they wished they had better taken care of their body and prioritized their mental health. This led me down the path of understanding why we have so much shame around taking care of our bodies, even though we get one body for life. Words like “diet” and “mental health counseling” have always been seen as bad things in our society. Like we’re somehow broken. While most of it has to do with word connotation, you can do much better and be more graceful with yourself if you learn these words have no real meaning. I learned that instead of using “diet,” I aligned with having a nutritional plan. Because I care about my body and want to give it proper nutrition. There are also good things about a plan. Milestones and goals. Better understood when gamified. For the word “counseling,” you had to tell yourself you were not broken or weak. You needed support unraveling ideas you were struggling with in your mind and help processing your emotions. You often thought there is shame if a male needs emotional support, that he is weak and not masculine. If a man needs to diet, he is unhealthy, ugly, unattractive, unworthy of love. I have been living and traveling out of your RV for the past three years. You’ve been to 18 states. Of all the people you’ve met, many older people told you they wish they would have traveled sooner. Before they got injured. Before they became too old to enjoy the more strenuous activities like hiking, climbing, or other things that require a lot of physical demand. You also learned we were taught to always be racing to the next finish line. After various conversations with older people, you found there is no race waiting for us. We can choose to join, or it is a race we can be part of. To your surprise, there is no requirement to do all or any of the races in life. Whether a certain career path, some educational plan, or some expectation of getting married and having children and grandchildren. None of it is required. You can decide to just enjoy your life day by day. You found that if we try things that pique our interest, we are happier. Until they don’t make us happy anymore. Then try something new. It’s okay to keep poking and prodding at the way of life. VERS2 Happiness. It’s not some far-off destination you reach after years of struggle. It’s a quiet revolution. A state of being that starts with peace. Not the absence of war. An inner stillness, a knowing that whispers: “I’m okay. I’m enough.” Happiness isn’t a permanent state. Think of those fleeting moments of pure joy. They come and go. It’s not about reaching perfection. It’s about embracing the peace within, even amidst life’s chaos. So how do you find that peace? Stop chasing external validation. It’s a trap. Dive deep inside yourself. Acknowledge every feeling. The good, the bad, the ugly. Thank it for visiting. Let it go, like a wave washing ashore. That’s the quiet revolution. You’ll realize life makes more sense looking back, connecting the dots. For now, keep going. Like a driver focused on the road ahead. Embrace the active life. Don’t blame others for your lack of peace. Their problems are their own. Want to know if you truly matter to someone? Simple. Do they make time for you, even when they’re busy? Some folks think they don’t deserve happiness. That they’re cursed to suffer in silence. Don’t listen to that BS. It’s a lie. If someone tries to hold you back, to steal your peace, kick them to the curb. They don’t deserve your time, your energy, your happiness. Love yourself first. You can’t change the past. But you can choose a fresh start. Start with gratitude. Be thankful for the good things, for the people who care. Think about the regrets of the dying. Those who wish they’d lived more authentically and chased their dreams. Don’t let fear stop you. Live on your terms, not someone else’s. Take care of yourself, body and soul. Forget the word “diet.” It’s just a label. Call it a “nutritional plan” to show your body some love. And don’t be ashamed to seek help. Mental health is as important as physical health. Don’t wait until you’re old to travel, to experience life. Go now. Explore. Discover. There’s no finish line. No need to rush. Just enjoy the journey every step of the way. This is your life. You’re in control. So choose happiness. Choose peace. Choose to live a life that’s truly yours.